today was all over the place.

yeah, it was one of those sacred days. ones that help you understand.

scaredunsureprayer days where you feel shriveled up and tossed like a cross-armed child flinging tight-fisted temper tantrums. like a fish in an eagle's beak spinning bulky and twisted over the leftover harvest. and all you can do is get on your knees in the drug store and whisper. because you see your reflection is selfishness and shades of sweat and the lines of splenda-sweetened disgusting build up on the walls.
days where you think a little moldy and one-track and dizzy. it's so hot outside. so hot.

then you hurt something and cry. cry like a bird being plucked of all its warmth. cry too ungraciously.

but you see the trees and the soft green and you drink some water and blow your nose and you look and you breathe slow and you listen for the answers and even amongst the splinters you feel everything pieced together and purposeful and peaceful. and something says you are more than a windowpane to results.

i don't know. the future sometimes freaks me out.

blessed. yes, we are very blessed.


"Beautiful Scandalous Night"

Go on up to the mountain of mercy
To the crimson perpetual tide
Kneel down on the shore
Be thirsty no more
Go under and be purified

Follow Christ to the Holy mountian
Sinner, sorry and wrecked by the fall
Cleanse your heart and your soul
In the fountain that flows
For you and for me and for all

At the wonderful tragic mysterious tree
On that beautiful scandalous night you and me
Were atoned by His blood and forever washed white
On that beautiful scandalous night

On the hillside you will be delivered
At the foot of the cross, justified
And your spirit restored
By the river that pours
From our blessed Saviour’s side

At the wonderful tragic mysterious tree
On that beautiful scandalous night you and me
Were atoned by His blood and forever washed white
On that beautiful scandalous night

Go on up to the mountain of mercy
To the crimson perpetual tide
Kneel down on the shore
Be thirsty no more
Go under and be purified

At the wonderful tragic mysterious tree
On that beautiful scandalous night you and me
Were atoned by His blood and forever washed white
On that beautiful scandalous night